Pregnant Goddess... Who Me?

by Mayada

reprinted from MID-BITS Magazine - Fall 2008

Aahhh… bellydance and pregnancy – at last I have my own story!

Many bellydancers are big on natural childbirth, rapturous about undulating their babies out, thanks to the movements of our dance, so perfect and helpful for labour and delivery.  I’ve always felt like the odd one out in these conversations, not quite down with this line of thinking – and definitely not confident that being a bellydancer would make giving birth any easier.  I actually never thought I’d be brave enough to get pregnant; I was terrified of labour and thought if I did ever have a baby, that I’d want to be totally drugged up so I wouldn’t feel a thing.  And I couldn’t buy into the beauty of the whole Earth-Mother thing either: I never thought I’d want to showcase my bare pregnant belly or do any performing while I was really pregnant looking. I couldn’t imagine feeling very goddess-like hauling around an extra forty or fifty pounds!

Over the years, I’ve watched many beautiful performances by pregnant bellydancers, proudly flaunting their big pregnant bellies.  I could marvel at it on someone else, but I really never thought I personally wanted to go there!  But I did end up dancing with my folkloric troupe Banat El Sharq as well as RM2 a lot during my pregnancy… Both groups performed at IBCC, where I was just showing a bit at 5 ½ months (although I felt I was huge at that point – looking back it was nothing!)  And with groups, I felt even more like I didn’t want to be the pregnant dancer over on the side.  Unless a choreography has something to do with birth or pregnancy, showcasing the expecting woman in particular, I always think this looks weird and pulls the attention of the audience to that one dancer instead of inviting them to enjoy the cohesiveness of the whole group.  And since both choreographies I was performing didn’t have anything to do with showcasing a pregnant person, I was glad we were wearing belly-covering costumes and hoped not to stick out too much.  As it happened, a lot of people watching apparently weren’t even aware that I was pregnant (I guess I was just looking a bit chubby!)

So I was completely surprised - having made very certain that I was all covered up in all my past shows, and telling everyone I probably wouldn’t be doing my usual solo at my studio’s student showcase in June – to find myself toying with the idea of actually performing at the showcase at seven months pregnant!  And by the end of the week I had decided I didn’t want to do a covered up Saiidi piece (like my other shows during pregnancy), but that I wanted to do a bare-belly mother goddess-type of piece – I wanted to be a pregnant Isis!  So the day before the showcase, there I was, piecing together a new costume that totally showcased my big belly and had a Pharonic look.  I felt this was the perfect venue for this type of thing for me… the audience would be full of my studio family – my students, their friends and families, all my troupes, and my friends and family. Surprise: I was feeling a strong need to share this special time with all my favourite people!

I’ve heard of bellydancers teaching classes right up until the time they gave birth and I had told everyone that I didn’t feel the need to be a superwoman and keep working and teaching till the very end.  My students and replacement teachers  kept  asking  when  I  would be teaching

until… I told them that since I’d never been pregnant before, I’d have to see how I was feeling as the pregnancy progressed.  I had kind of envisioned stopping teaching about a month before my due date so I could relax.  But as my due date drew closer and closer, I realized that dancing felt good, I was happy at the studio, and thought I might want to teach right up until the big day.  I had people take over my very hardcore high-energy boot camp classes by then, but bellydance felt awesome even when I was hugely pregnant.  My gym workouts were happening less and less in the last month and even walking around town with my mom was tiring me out and giving me aches and pains, but bellydancing felt terrific!  Some days I’d be so tired and sore and I’d be thinking “there’s no way I can teach now”, but I’d always feel rejuvenated and alive after teaching a class or two. So I just kept going!  I had a schedule in place that would go into effect ‘whenever Mayada goes into labour’ (a lot of my students thought this was hilarious!)  So I ended up teaching right up until a day before my due date… and loving it.

Then baby’s birth-day arrived!  I won’t say it was a piece of cake – early labour was hard and painful for me – but being active and the muscle strength and conditioning from years of bellydance movement did pay off with a birth experience that went smoothly and was amazingly quick and well, yes… almost easy!

For the first few days after the birth every muscle in my body was so sore I could barely walk.  It seems incredible now, but it was hard work to
even reach for or lift a bottle of water!  But slowly, slowly, I started feeling better, more like myself again, and despite the overwhelming busyness of the new-parent learning curve, I found myself missing my students and my classes.  I felt ready to start teaching again.  People were telling me I was crazy to be back at the studio so soon after birth, but I had missed my studio life so much that I was excited and happy to be back!  It had only been about two weeks, but it felt like I had been away for months.  I started back teaching a beginner bellydance class which I thought might be the least physically challenging for me at this time. Wrong!! It was uber-challenging!  This class really made me feel how directly the muscles used to execute bellydance moves are related to the muscles used in the birthing process; the connection was  unmistakeable.  And  somehow –

magically almost - each undulation, each hip circle, was now more: richer, earthier, more meaningful.  I didn’t go all out, and still I could feel my abs, hips, and pelvis screaming! After a few weeks of easygoing teaching, I felt ready to take on my advanced bellydance bootcamp and my own personal workouts in the gym (when baby would let me), and except for some extra pounds, I’m   now   feeling   almost    back    to    normal   –

WOO-HOO!

Those first few weeks taking care of a new baby - especially I imagine for a first-time mom like me who had never even held an infant before! - is an
insane rollercoaster ride.  No time for doing anything but baby care... although it does force you to slow down and chill a lot, nursing and
rocking, then nursing and more rocking, nursing again... This has been something new for me - I'm

used to being kind of hyperactive, always on the go.  A benefit from this extra couch-time: lots of introspection, solitude in which to mull over ideas, a good headspace in which creative impulses can 'cook'.  This has led to lots of goal-setting, increased motivation, and tons of inspiration for choreographies and classes: bonus!

To say being pregnant and having a baby is life-changing is an understatement.  That change I expected.  What took me by surprise was how it has impacted my life as a bellydancer.  I now believe in the power of staying fit and active and the power of bellydance - those ancient and beloved moves! - for insuring a happy pregnancy, easy birth, and quick recovery. The Saidi music my son heard in utero, through months of teaching and dancing 'with me' was even the first sound to have a profound effect in soothing and calming him during his first few weeks. It all makes sense now. Even more reason to love bellydance, to love what I do. Finally, I get the goddess thing.  Aiwa!

photo by Rod MacPherson